Things they don't tell you......

- I think the biggest thing they don't tell you when you get cancer is the amount of stress, work, and the emotional and physical wear on your spouse.
You can't help but feel guilty needing help with the littlest of things. But, that is why they are there.  To be candid, I didn't know Stephanie and I were capable of being at this level.  After 26 years together, it seemed like "we've been through it all, we've done it all'....
But, you learn there is another level that you didn't realize was there.  I mean, really you don't want to know it is there because something bad is happening.
Steph has stepped up and been an absolute warrior with all of this.

Thoughts & Prayers.....

https://youtu.be/eY5VNDvea1M?si=nxjpZeHIAfWIXNQP

 Let's talk about "thoughts and prayers".

For years, I would be like, "But do they really pray?" or are they just saying that?

I mean you can send good thoughts, good vibes, good mojo, good juju....whatever is your thing. That is sincere.

If you do pray (and I know people have for me lately), then that is sincere....and thank you. Seriously.

I do think people tend to say it, because of a lack of not knowing what to say when someone is going through a life change or get thrown a curveball.

....and that is ok. It still shows you care.

However, it is the people that mock it that bother me.

If religion isn't your thing, that's ok. I've long said I am not friends with anyone specifically for religion, their political beliefs or their sexual orientation/identity.

Those are all incredibly deep and person beliefs. They mean something to that person.

So when you say "tots and pears".....first of all, you're just an idiot for saying that, because not only is it not sincere you are basically mocking someone's beliefs. Shame on you.

If you call God "Sky Daddy or Sky King".....you're just as bad.

Don't crap all over someone's faith if you don't believe in God or even if you are unsure.

People cling to their faith in their daily life, not just when tragedies happen.

I'll be honest, I lose my faith from time to time. Not understanding losing friend after friend, other people's children, my own 19 year old nephew.....the list goes on and you try and make sense of it.

It is hard to see the purpose of it, and I still don't even know if there is one.....but my faith is something I hold onto to try and find answers, or understand it.

We work in a very progressive/forward thinking/multi variety of identities industry.....and being a white male, I still go out of my way to respect that about people.

Because of it, I have a VERY diverse friend universe. I'm close with some vs others, but the one thing I do is respect them all the same.

Their identity and their beliefs.

We need to get back to the world where we listed to each other, where we worked out our differences without calling each other names (libtards, magats, etc.). You're all wrong for saying or calling someone that.

Nobody will listen to you. You'll never be a voice of change. If anything it is almost like a voice of reverse hate. Like hate is ok, if it is your hate.

Let's just stop hating. Let's just stop mocking people's beliefs and faith.

I know for a fact I'm not friends with anyone on here strictly over religion.....but I am lucky to have very strong faith based people that I know. Andy, Jeff, Bonnie especially them. Thank you for that.

Just show more empathy for people (or choose to ignore it) when they talk about their faith.

That's all.....and chemo round 3 went well.

Stephanie is my absolute rock and she is a big part of my success so far....so if you pray, throw her in the mix. If you don't, send her some good vibes (more than the ones you already send to her for being married to me).....haha

Love you all and thank you for everything. Calls, messages, posts, texts...you name it, I hear and see them all....so thank you.

FAQ's

 I also get asked a lot of questions, so here are a few I get asked most.

- How long have you had cancer?
No idea, but all these symptoms started over a year and a half ago so I'm surprised they "caught it early"

- How much liquid did they remove?
This one is pretty easy.  First, I don't know metric conversions from milliliters to ounces, but they had me on the chest tube for 12 days.
So I kept track and did a conversion chart on what I do know how to measure:

That is 11 pints of beer.....lol, that is how much liquid was removed.

- Does it hurt?
Sometimes. Given that I walked around for 18 months like this, surprised a LOT of the doctors.  Saying I must have a high tolerance for pain.

- Is it hard to breathe?
No. But when they removed the liquid from around my lungs, my left lung was at 60% capacity and my right lung was at 28% capacity (nearly collapsed).

Part 4: PSYCH!!

The next day, Wed Sep 10, 2025, I wake up to a host of doctors coming through.  14 in all.
I had different departments.  Cardiology, Pulmonology, Radiology, and along with them were either another doctor or 2-4 residents with them.

Almost immediately, they were saying the mass was treatable.  So that gave us a bit of hope.
We then had the oncologist come in and he explained what was going on.
How with several CT scans under my belt, x-rays, echos, sonograms.....and more and more drained fluid, they were able to tell that the mass had formed around my right kidney and onto my Inferior Vena Cava vein that runs from my feet.
Their concern was that the mass was not only wrapped around it, but may have got into my IVC (not just on the outside).
So, there were many options that could happen.
- surgery to remove the mass from my right kidney
- surgery to remove my right kidney should it be a cancerous mass
- surgery to repair my IVC, which would require a lot
- chemo would shrink it to the point where that it would be "fine"
- or chemo works all on its own

So, they scheduled me for two biopsies.  One to test the mass and a bone marrow biopsy.
Let me just say neither of those are fun.....lol.

Dr says that the biopsies will go out tomorrow (Thursday) and one of two things will happen.
The test comes back on Monday(ish) and that is a good sign, as it is treatable.  Or, that it comes back later in the week (the following Friday) and that is probably bad because it would mean it is a sarcoma.

So, again we wait.  Still bothered by the diagnosis at the other hospital, even though we had more reassurances at St Joe, you sill wait for the other shoe to drop.
So we wait.  Thursday.  Then Friday.
Then about 4 am Friday night/Saturday morning I get an update on MyChart.  No idea what it says, so I throw it into AI and ask to break it down in layman's terms.

So, what I have is Stage 1-2 Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  I immediately call Stephanie from the hospital and tell her that it isn't a sarcoma or terminal.  Completely treatable with chemotherapy.
Huge relief to our family, I tell you.

                                                                  Gotcha, bitch!

My biggest concern was to tell our daughter, who (like everyone else, including us) didn't know what was going on for 5 days.
I felt like there was no need to worry her without having all of the information on what was going on.

I tell Stephanie to be at the hospital at 9 am.  She was parking and comes strolling in at 9:10 and I'd already seen 3 doctors.
All of which were excited that the mass on my kidney and on my vein was not cancerous.  So now they looked at treatment.

I will say during my 12 days in the hospital, that I see a lot of good things with our medical system and I see a lot of bad things with it.  I was fortunate enough to have great nurses and doctors.  My favorite doctor was happy to not have to see me.....lol.  My other favorite doctor is now my oncologist and he is pretty great.

Anyway, the doctors told me that the chemo that targets the lymph nodes will also target the 12cm mass and will also get treated.
For reference 12cm is about the size of a large grapefruit/small cantaloupe. 
We asked lots of questions and I wanted to know how it went from possible surgery or removing my right kidney altogether....he said the chemo will literally just melt it away.
It will just melt and return to my bloodstream and absorb it.

I got my first treatment in the hospital.  Through a PICC line and it went pretty easy.  They said that they could install a chemo port or use my PICC line.  I of course, didn't want anymore holes in me.  I had the kidney biopsy, a bone marrow biopsy, a chest tube, and a fluid drain in my back....I was good for more holes.....lol

One of the things they did is they carry this chest mannequin into the room and it reminded me of the CPR dummies in The Office episode with Dwight......lol.
It was VERY old and dirty and battered and she goes to show me how the port works.  Here is a picture of a newer chest model.

As you can see there is a lot going on, but it more about placement.  Mine was the one that you see on the right (left side of the chest), however mine was going on my right side.
Now when you look at this model you just see that round thing with a line attached to it.  Well, that isn't the "old" model.
The old one was attached to a metal looking plate about the size of the cutout you see there on the right.
I thought they were going to put that whole piece in me.....haha
I was like I'm good with the PICC line.
When they came back the next day to explain it further, they gave me an updated brochure, so I saw the size and placement.
Which was perfect, because at that point I was ready to rip that PICC line out of my arm....haha

So, we get discharged from the hospital, and Steph has been taking care of me ever since.
I have 6 treatments, with a treatment every 28 days.
Next week I got in on the 11th.
It is kind of a 4 day thing, but 2 of the days aren't chemo.
Tue - Blood draw, check numbers and progress
Wed - 6 hour chemo treatment 
Thu -  2 hour chemo treatment
Fri -  At home meds

That is it.  My next one is my 3rd, so I'm half-way there.

Part 3: Uhhh, you're probably gonna die.....

First don't let the title scare you.....read on. 

So next morning it is now Sep 9, 2025.
10 am we load up to go to the ER.....

Within 10 minutes I've got a EKG, echo, x-ray and am already in an ER room hospital bed.

They look at all of my records and schedule me immediately for another CT scan and it is during that CT scan they find that there is a build up of liquid around my right lung.  With "knowing my body" and with the weight loss and exercise I was convinced it was my left lung.....lol.
There is a large build of fluid and we want to drain some of the fluid out of your lungs.  We can drain up to 1.5 liters, but the first time we only do 1 liter to prevent any kind of lung collapse.
Ok...no problem.
Have at it.

They inserted a tube into my back and away they go.  Fluid starts to drain from the outside of my right lung (I keep saying "my right lung" but the fluid was outside it, not in my lung).
...almost immediately I felt a bit of relief.  About 15 minutes later they are like, we are all done!  We took out 1.1 liters.
So me, I am like, "Uh you said never more than a liter the first time".....they said we are sending the .1 liter out for testing.
It was kinda then I knew something serious was going on.

Here's just 1 liter of fluid from my right lung!

So now we get sent back to the room.  They send me out for yet another CT scan.  They wanted to see what was going on now that more liquid had been drained.

By now it is about 2pm, I had been at the hospital for 4 hours and was already checked out of ER and into the ICU unit.
Me in my head, I'm rationalizing well ICU it could just mean that they are being cautious....not like I am in need of intensive care......lol.
It is at this point they install a chest tube to continue to drain the fluid from my lungs.

During this time, I had a pulmonary doctor come in a few times and talk to me and telling me they were going to look at the scans and kind of determine what was going on.
She came back and forth a few times and then around 4pm I see her in the courtyard outside my window (I had a good view)....and she is looking at her phone.
Stephanie is sitting next to me and we are both just waiting.
While the doctor was outside, she was looking at her phone probably checking emails, etc.  So, I mimic her, trying to make Stephanie laugh.
Doctor looking at her phone and I say "oh, I need to pick up chicken for dinner" and she runs her hand along her hair and I'm like "oh, I need to pick up some conditioner".....Stephanie is laughing.  I'm laughing.
Then the doctor goes around the corner to come into the building and she stops.  She takes out a tissue, takes her glasses off and then dabs at her eyes and then her brow.
Steph can't see her from around the corner and I tell her, "I think she is crying"....Steph doubts it.
Then (and I'm not kidding) 15 seconds later there is a knock at the door and she comes in and she is clearly upset.
So, she just comes right out with it.

"Mr & Mrs Burkhart, I unfortunately have some very, very bad news for you.  You have cancer and we found a mass on your right kidney and there is very little we can do"

That's it.  Steph heard it differently.  I am pretty confident I heard it word for word. I certainly know I was completely stunned.
She explains that they are not set up for these type of cases and that I would be getting transferred to St Joseph Medical Center in Tacoma later that night.

Stephanie went home around 8pm as visiting hours were coming to an end and they told me I'd be transferred to St Joe sometime in the next few hours.

So....at 10pm, the ambulance transfer team arrives (two very cool guys.  Tony and I forgot the other dudes name).
I tell them...hey between Lakewood and Tacoma, we are going to pass about 50 bars, I know where we can get some good drinks and food....lol.

They laugh and then start asking me where is the best drink, the best hamburger, the best sandwich, etc....
They drop me off at St. Joe.
I immediately get swept into another CT scan and a bunch more tests.  At this point I've had a lot of tests, scans, x-rays, blood draws.
Then I can't sleep much because of the news we got and then they wake me every 2 hours to get my vitals.
So....let's see what tomorrow brings.

Part 2: Now the fun begins.....

So...you just went almost 3 years in one little post.
Now the fun really does begin....

I had gone to my new pulmonary doctor and he was out of town at a conference.  The fill-in doctor says lets schedule you for a CT scan before your next appointment in November (we are on current dates now).
So I say no problem.

The following Monday, the pulmonary doctor gets back into the office and looks at my charts and sees the run around I've been getting, the delay in records from my POS PCP....and calls me.
He tells me he'd like to get me in for a CT scan right away to really identify what it is we are looking at.
I say ok.
He schedules me for a CT scan on Aug 27, 2025 and a follow up on those scans on Sep 15, 2025.
I go in.  Go through the testing and they were like, we will send this over to your doctor and go from there.

I'm feeling good.  My cardiologist has taken me off one med completely and then the other med down to 1/2 dose.  I haven't had high blood pressure in over a year.  My blood pressure, resting heart rate and everything is doing great during this time.
I feel like we are finally moving forward.  Lost lots of weight and everything.
But one thing I started to notice is that when I'd exercise or go for walks, I'd start to get winded sooner.
I'd walk the same area (the Wildlife Area) near my house.

                      That blue house is me!

As you can see there are many (paved) trails and I'd routinely walk that almost daily.  Some days farther than others.
*by the way it is a great walking area if you are looking for someplace new

But I began to notice that I would get winded or tired faster.  Like significantly less.  So I knew something was going on, but wasn't too worried about it because I had all my medical stuff in high gear, health doing good....no worries.

At this point I am also getting ready to see my new PCP for the first time on September 8, 2025.
With my CT scan a week prior, I felt confident going into the visit that they'd finally figure it out.

At 9 am, I go in for the first time.  Meet my new doctor (who is awesome by the way) and he meets with me and looks at my records and asks if I had a CT scan done.  I mentioned yes, I had one about 10 days prior.
He says hold on.

...and now here is my entire appointment

Comes back with another doctor and that doctor tells me,
Dr: "You need to go the ER right now!"
Me: "Uh, what?  Like now?  Why?"
Dr: "Well, we are looking at your CT scan and there is some significant blockage with your lungs and they can get you to the right care you that you need"
Me: "Right now?  Like this very minute?"
Dr: "Yes, right now or we can call you an ambulance"
Me: "An ambulance? For what?!?!?  I just drove here and the hospital is literally across the street, why would I need an ambulance?"
Dr: "Well it shows your primary hospital as St Clare (I'm at St Joe for this visit)"
Me: "Like right now?  I have to call my wife, I have to make arrangements, can I go later tonight or tomorrow?"
Dr: "Well, you can go in the morning, but you HAVE to go first thing"
Me: "Ok"
....that is it.  That was my 10 minute first time PCP office visit....lol.

So, I leave go home and wait for Steph to go home and tell her.  I'm confused, she's confused.
On top of that, Stephanie points out that I didn't ask enough questions.....lol.
It all happened so fast, I didn't know what to do!

Part 1: How it all started.....

So, I constantly get asked what happened, how long I've had cancer, what type of cancer, etc.
It gets exhausting trying to tell everyone individually or even when I message them it leads to more questions.
Let me say that I know it comes from a genuine place of concern for me and my family and I truly do appreciate that, I really do.

To start, I need to go back 3 years to Dec 15, 2022 of how this whole thing started.

I was having a hard time breathing with shortness of breath and I thought I had Covid.  Took a couple of tests at home and they were negative.  I also start to develop a minor cough.
Finally, I decide the next day to take myself to the hospital (ER).  I get there and they immediately whisk me back to an ER room and put me on an IV, some diuretics, and I don't remember what else.
What I do remember is that my heart rate was at 160 (my normal resting is mid 60's) and it had been for two days.

Yes, that 162 is my BPM!

So, for the two days prior, at home, I was in A-FIB and didn't even know it......lol.
With that, I had to be admitted to the hospital and was there for 4 days.
However, in my infinite wisdom, I decide to go to the ER, find out what was wrong, get admitted and THEN tell my wife where I was and what was going on.....lol.
Needless to say, she was not happy.

So after a CT scan and lots of doctors looking at things they were able to figure out I had a fluid buildup around my heart and that is what they treated.
I get out of the hospital the week before Christmas and start to feel better.
I'm now on some heart medication to make sure my heart is pumping blood properly.

At that point, I needed a recommendation to a cardiologist, so I had to go through my PCP for a referral.
The soonest I could get an appointment was April 25, 2023.
So I continue to do what my doctor tells me to do and start to make healthier choices.  Not entirely, mind you....but it was a start of what led me to where I am today.

I go in the day of my appointment (my birthday) and my doctor isn't there.  No, she is out on maternity leave!  She left the day before my appointment....lol.
Nobody told me, they knew months in advance.
Well, they can't really do anything except review the hospital notes and my PCP notes.  Then schedule me for a follow up visit in 6 months, which is now going to be November 6, 2023.

November 5th, 2023 I get a call and they tell me that my doctor's office (she has one in Tacoma and one in Lakewood) is being remodeled and rather than move me to the other location, they decide to do a video visit.
Like, I'm not sure how that is supposed to help....but ok.
But I also tell her that I have this persistent cough even though my heart seems to be doing fine.  It was fine enough that she took me off of one of the blood pressure medications and I've been off ever since.

She says, let's get you into the office just to check some things but the soonest will be Feb 12, 2024 (3 months later).

Now Feb rolls around and I go to see my cardiologist.  She says, it isn't your heart, everything looks good.  Continue to see your PCP and then see me again in August 2024.

Now during this time, I am making regular visits to my PCP, who informs me that after 31 years as my PCP he is retiring....of course I am bummed, but I get it.  Dr. B has seen me in my 20's and my 60's.  Only doctor I've ever had my adult life.
The new guy taking over his practice is a real piece of work (though I can think of another 4 letter word that describes him better)....lol.
Anyway, during this time I am still having this cough.  So, I go with this new whack job's recommendations.
Oh it is allergies, here are some pills.
Oh it is asthma, here is an inhaler.
Oh it is some kind of infection, here are some anti-biotics.
Doesn't work...none of it.

He "refers" me to a pulmonary doctor and I wait.
...and wait.
...and wait.
Nobody gets a hold of me and now it has been a couple of months.  So, I go in for my visit in April 2024 for my regular annual checkup and there is no record of this moron referring me to someone.

So, back to my August 2024 appointment with my cardiologist I go and ask her for a referral.
She refers me to a doctor, but I can't get him to see him until February 2025.

It was at that point in Sep 2024, that I made a serious effort to focus on my health, lose weight and get back to what I was before all of this started.
Nobody can figure this out, I am getting tired of this persistent cough....so dropping weight seemed like it would help.

Forward a year later (Sep 2025) and I have lost 90lbs.  I got dialed in and cut back on beer, cut out processed foods, sodium, fatty foods, etc.
Totally easy once I get into a groove (and still am...despite my recent medical setback).

February 12, 2025 finally rolls around and I get a call that my new pulmonary doctor needs to reschedule me because they don't have all of my medical records.
Guess why?  
The new PCP idiot had not sent them over despite me personally hand delivering the form to send over my records.
So now I'm pissed.
Probably not the smartest thing to do, but it was at that point I went into my PCP and demanded that they give me all of my records, I didn't even want them in the building or know that I was associated with this new idiot.....lol.
This asshat then takes another almost 60 days to send them over.  So now it is April 2025.  I finally get a pulmonary appointment for August 2025.

At that point, I reached out to my cardiologist and asked for a new PCP referral.  She gives me one, the soonest I can see them is Sep 8, 2025.

Now I go in to see my pulmonary doctor...all medical records over.  Referral done.  Everything is set.  Go in for my appointment and guess what?  The doctor isn't in, he's away at a conference....lol.
The fill in doctor sets me up for a November 2025 follow up.  I'm like follow up to what?  haha.

Now the fun begins.......